[ilingku:114]
[00:00.00]本字幕由TME AI技术生成
[00:01.97]波波
[00:02.53]脱口秀脱口秀还是要听着才过瘾
[00:06.97]脱口秀口秀还是在酷我才正宗
[00:11.09]波波开说
[00:13.92]说吧
[00:15.08]说你爱我吧
[00:17.08]好的
[00:17.40]欢迎来到今天的神回复
[00:20.00]好了
[00:20.30]看谁留言了呢
[00:21.54]小k说
[00:23.64]我这人吧点背
[00:25.12]买彩票啊
[00:25.96]没中过
[00:26.64]连写个评论也没被读到过
[00:28.34]最被读到的都是幸运儿
[00:31.07]是的
[00:31.61]今天就是你
[00:32.45]今天的幸运儿就是你
[00:33.89]是你是你
[00:34.95]就是你
[00:35.59]今天幸运儿就是你
[00:37.61]是的
[00:37.83]你没有看错
[00:38.43]是的 是的
[00:38.84]就是你
[00:39.45]怎么样
[00:39.79]没有很精彩
[00:40.39]没有很幸运的
[00:41.17]人生就是这样
[00:41.85]精彩随处不在
[00:43.31]生命就是如此的辉煌
[00:44.77]奔跑吧
[00:45.49]皮卡丘
[00:47.40]果冻兔爸爸说
[00:49.12]有一天呢
[00:49.78]俺家来老多人了
[00:50.70]没地方住了
[00:51.52]完了我小弟说
[00:52.70]妈呀
[00:53.00]我是不是得睡沙发呀
[00:54.20]我妈很淡定的说
[00:55.14]你不用睡沙发
[00:56.00]让你姐睡
[00:56.74]她短哦
[00:58.72]天呐
[00:59.60]怎么就是身高如此被鄙视吗
[01:02.66]我妈天天也是
[01:03.54]一天天老跟我喊
[01:04.68]我妈老喊我
[01:05.38]你个姑娘
[01:05.98]一天天的
[01:06.68]你还怎么邋遢呢
[01:07.62]一个多月了
[01:08.12]我都没见你洗过内衣
[01:10.10]我真的
[01:10.56]当时我都疯了
[01:11.56]我妈呀
[01:12.04]你怎么这么说我呢
[01:13.12]我都没穿
[01:13.76]你让我怎么洗呀
[01:15.04]真的 这 哎呀
[01:16.76]我妈跟你喊
[01:17.46]你何何愁不死啊
[01:18.70]我跟你
[01:19.06]我跟你说哈
[01:20.10]祝你平安吧
[01:20.74]伙计
[01:21.04]祝你平安安
[01:22.22]祝你平安
[01:23.10]我觉得今天我今神精神有点儿不大正常
[01:25.26]等会
[01:25.44]我先吃个药先啊
[01:27.22]至尊宝说
[01:28.75]嗯
[01:29.57]波姐每次睡不着着觉的时候
[01:31.23]就想听你的目目
[01:32.43]听完就彻底失眠了
[01:34.07]喝咖啡吃安眠药啥的都不好使了
[01:36.97]你疯了
[01:38.17]你失眠你喝咖啡呀
[01:39.51]你喝个六咖啡你喝咖啡呀
[01:41.47]喝完咖啡你再吃安眠药啊
[01:43.57]大哥
[01:43.93]你是想证明他俩谁能干过谁吗
[01:46.67]按照你睡不着的结果来看
[01:47.85]咖啡是不是赢了
[01:50.66]一九八三说
[01:52.24]哎
[01:52.86]我小侄儿在外边儿放边儿熊孩子估计是闲的蛋疼
[01:57.66]把烟花里面的火药粉给拆开撒烟灰缸里了
[02:01.48]你能想象他爹把烟头往里一戳
[02:04.16]那火星子给个老爷们儿吓得嗷姥一嗓子的情形嘛
[02:08.48]哎呀
[02:09.46]小熊孩子嘛
[02:11.00]我们都有小的时候嘛
[02:12.50]都当过熊孩子嘛
[02:13.70]对不对
[02:14.36]我记得小时候也会过年
[02:16.16]我爸给我买个老大大气球了
[02:18.00]哎呀
[02:18.78]我抓着手里怕松了气球就飞了
[02:20.95]就那种轻气球
[02:21.65]呜
[02:21.85]就能飞那种
[02:23.23]我怕他飞咋整啊
[02:24.95]那时候啊
[02:25.61]钥匙不都挂大脖上吗
[02:27.43]我就把挂大脖上的钥匙啊
[02:28.93]我摘下来了
[02:29.73]然后系到那个气球那绳上了
[02:31.79]我还到处炫耀呢
[02:32.75]我说 哎
[02:33.23]这回有东西坠着气球飞不了了
[02:35.97]不信你看 歘
[02:37.03]手一松
[02:37.59]气球带着钥匙飞的无影无踪
[02:40.05]我爸给我一顿削啊
[02:41.57]啪啪啪
[02:44.27]这个
[02:45.51]呃
[02:46.21]思念的经济的成本
[02:49.25]说有个姐们儿说在家不小心踹翻了大拇脚趾盖
[02:54.99]完了疼的自己家偷偷哭
[02:56.97]我听以后说
[02:57.97]自己一个人有什么好哭的
[02:59.63]要是我
[03:00.13]我肯定骂脏话
[03:02.38]哎 你看这
[03:02.90]我想起个事儿啊
[03:04.71]那天我也问雪姨同样问题
[03:06.13]我说
[03:06.35]你要是自己一个人的时候
[03:08.11]突然 嗯
[03:09.97]脑瓜子撞到床角上
[03:11.85]或者是那个大拇脚趾头踢到那个床床脚上
[03:16.21]老疼老疼的了
[03:17.17]这个时候你是会哭呢还是会骂脏话呢
[03:19.57]哎
[03:19.83]雪姨头也不抬
[03:20.85]直接说
[03:21.39]那又说肯定骂脏话呀
[03:23.75]我就不死心
[03:24.51]我说那很疼很疼
[03:25.61]疼的都已经啦啦淌血了
[03:27.37]你是哭还是骂脏话
[03:29.37]这货淡然的告诉我说
[03:31.84]边哭边骂脏话
[03:35.38]所以说
[03:35.82]一个女人呐
[03:36.48]她一个人的时候和人多的时候啊
[03:38.16]真的是不一样的呢
[03:40.12]欧阳子轩说
[03:41.82]波儿姐
[03:42.42]你说这人呐
[03:43.28]欠钱不还
[03:43.96]电话不接
[03:44.90]信息不回
[03:45.76]怎么整治她呢
[03:46.72]求帮助啊
[03:48.26]你跟波儿姐学
[03:49.28]没事儿你就得录音
[03:50.92]录完呢
[03:51.98]你就拿着小证据
[03:52.98]你就去告他去
[03:54.24]现在是和谐社会了
[03:55.52]不行找警察叔叔呗
[03:56.74]要不好律律叔叔还好法官叔叔呢
[03:58.90]对不对
[03:59.68]别老怕这怕那的
[04:00.86]再说了
[04:01.48]你下回你长点心
[04:03.22]你怎么能随便
[04:04.26]现在是事随便谁谁谁都能借给谁钱的时候吗
[04:07.61]啊
[04:08.43]你要是借钱呐
[04:09.63]真往出借
[04:10.61]你就得抱着那种借了他不能还完你还不能生气那种关系
[04:13.87]你才能借
[04:14.53]要不你就别借啊
[04:17.21]花生米u阿u说
[04:22.06]波姐呀
[04:23.06]听了你的声音呐
[04:24.44]我儿子和我媳妇儿啊
[04:25.82]都不搭理我了
[04:26.94]因为他们娘俩啊
[04:27.98]全带上耳麦了
[04:29.84]那你倒是开音箱啊
[04:31.16]你倒是啊
[04:31.92]一瞅你这搁家地位就不行
[04:33.74]人家俩玩的乐呵的都不都不带你玩
[04:36.00]赶紧回家把耳麦砸稀睡
[04:37.52]买音箱
[04:38.20]大家一起共享啊
[04:40.57]没呀 没没没 说
[04:42.41]波儿姐
[04:42.93]我今天在外边
[04:43.79]突然就想
[04:44.93]如果我减一百块钱就好了
[04:46.59]结果一低头
[04:47.29]我真捡一百块钱
[04:48.65]波姐
[04:48.95]你说我这是心想事成了吗
[04:51.15]是不是要火呀
[04:53.22]你这算啥呀强那天合计捡五百块钱呢
[04:56.72]完钱捡个钱包
[04:58.02]完里边没钱
[04:59.26]但钱包值钱
[05:00.30]卖了五百块钱
[05:01.30]你欺不干活爆
[05:04.76]嗯 那句话呢 说
[05:06.14]波姐
[05:07.48]你上学时候是不是学习特别好啊
[05:09.68]要不然为啥你口才这么好
[05:11.14]脑瓜转的这么快呢
[05:13.32]我上学的时候学习可真一点都不好
[05:15.42]就因为我学习不好
[05:16.22]所以脑瓜转的才快
[05:17.36]我跟你说
[05:18.12]我脑袋转的老快了
[05:19.52]我天天合计怎么抄呢
[05:21.68]怎么抄呢
[05:22.76]这数学不行
[05:23.60]怎么抄呢
[05:24.22]我想尽各种作弊的办法啊
[05:26.94]我考试啊
[05:27.78]把小抄写在凳子上
[05:29.22]然后把笔啪撇地上
[05:31.82]然后趁着捡笔的机会
[05:33.12]我就可以看小抄了
[05:34.55]哎呀
[05:35.21]本来好好的
[05:36.07]但是我发现我看完小抄以后啊
[05:38.11]我笔真的找不着了
[05:40.93]朋友们
[05:42.23]考试没有笔答题的感受你知道吗
[05:46.89]irememberwhenwebrokeupthefirsttimesayingthisissivehadenoughbecauselikewehadntseeneachotherinamonth
[05:54.65]whenyousaidyouneededspacewhat
[05:57.91]thenyoucomearoundagaintosaybaby
[06:00.63]imissyou
[06:01.11]wanttoswear
[06:01.73]imgonachangetrust
[06:03.17]merememberhowthatlastedforaday
[06:05.63]isayihateyou
[06:06.85]webreakup
[06:07.55]youcallme
[06:08.23]iloveyou
[06:12.08]wecallitafteragaingettingbacktogether
[06:48.05]imreallygonnamissyou
[06:49.39]pickingfights
[06:50.49]andmefallingforscreamingthatimright
[06:53.11]andyouwouldhideaway
[06:54.37]andfindyourpieceofminewithsomeindierecordthatsmuchcoolermine
[06:58.69]youcallmeuptheinandmy
[07:07.75]butthistimetimetellingyou
[07:10.31]tellingyouwetomyfriendssaghttome
[07:30.78]becausetowillwe
[07:41.22]iusedtothinktheweekwereforeverever
[07:48.98]andiusedtosaythisisasauusting
[08:02.00]youknowweareneverdoingthattogether
[08:04.86]likeeverpleasetalktome
[08:22.77]theweeetogether