[00:04.44]If you wanna get in trouble let me tell you how to do it
[00:10.78]Get yourself a guitar and then you're right into it
[00:12.73]You play all day and you play all night
[00:14.71]People say you'll never learn to play the thing right
[00:16.55]Always messing about groaning at you
[00:18.45]Moaning won't let you practise
[00:19.54]So I bought meself a guitar about a year ago
[00:22.25]The man said I could learn it in a week or so
[00:24.10]Gave me a little book pick or two
[00:26.06]Said Here y'are mate it's up to you
[00:27.85]Dirty rotter cost me ten nicker all the loot I had
[00:32.17]Good guitar though called it a pluckit
[00:35.69]Anyway spent me dough
[00:37.31]And I couldn't let it all go to waste you know
[00:39.12]So I took the book guitar and all
[00:41.09]And I went back home where the trees are tall
[00:43.00]Down in Woodford good place to be if you've got a guitar
[00:46.55]Pretty rotten if you ain't
[00:48.77]Well for weeks and weeks I worked hard
[00:51.03]And I tried to learn a few main chords
[00:52.90]The book says they're easy as ABC
[00:54.91]Cor my fingers is killing me got sore on the ends
[00:58.32]Couldn't hold the strings down
[01:00.40]Wanted to pack up cor I felt rough
[01:04.03]Anyway kept on playing with all me might
[01:06.07]I could see Mum's hair was turning white
[01:08.07]And her face was lined with discontent
[01:10.09]She said her patience was pretty near spent
[01:12.00]She was nervous ears ringing wanted to scream
[01:15.62]You know couldn't get no relief
[01:17.69]So sister anyway she took it worst of all
[01:19.86]'Cause she got married the following fall
[01:21.36]She said For love but I got me doubts
[01:23.44]I think the guitar chased her out
[01:25.06]She's a game girl though
[01:26.35]Just couldn't take it you know limit to everything
[01:29.15]Dad he took it a different way
[01:31.18]He said you can turn your Mum's hair grey
[01:33.05]Drive your sister away from home
[01:34.75]But you or me boy's gonna start to roam
[01:36.71]And I ain't going never intend to
[01:39.28]You figure it out so I did fast you know
[01:42.48]Anyway next day had me clothes all packed
[01:44.34]And I slung me guitar across me back
[01:46.46]Caught meself a great long train
[01:48.37]Searched the world for me share of fame
[01:50.09]Ain't found none just hardships messing about
[01:55.61]Skiffle Tommy Steele